stress of NS induce many in sg to fall into abyss of insanity

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Addict taintedlove
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14 Feb `11, 5:01PM
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Hello everyone, I have lots of things to say/ask.

I hope someone had post something smiliar before. I don't wanna get charge. I'm really scare.

I don't know what to say but hope I can make myself clearer to you guys.

I'm now PES C9 L9 storeman trainee, I use to be a very happy person who can makes around well and do jokes a lot and welcome challenges . I had lots of interest in Fashion Design, I can cope very well when working outside and my bosses likes me a lot. I used to be in Cross Country and can run well but after I went to CMPB for checkup and that's when I know I had Beta Thalassemia, a kind of blood disorder. I was given PES C9 L2. Every friend of mine thinks well of me and thinks that I will be very garang in NS life.

The first day I got enlisted to Tekong and got into a C9 company. I was different from what I imagined was. Instead I was very stress and depressed. So different that I am so vex / stress till I cried and felt suicidal everyday single day. I can't adapt to the enviroment, I don't even know what's stressing me so much. After around the 3 bookout all my friends and girlfriend find that I had changed. They told me you wasn't acting like you use to be a happy and cheerful person. A person that everyone's likes to being with and followed.

I love drawings and imagine a cloth that it will look awesome when it attached to someone. I took out all of my drawing material and found out that I can't think or imagine anymore. I flare up and throw all my drawings and port folio away and that's when I felt useless and worthless. Till 1 day my gf wanted me to become her Fashion Adviser and change her style. I didn't do anything on that day and was just saying everything is OK. She then told me she notice I had changed and she told me " You are useless now, I don't know what you are thinking anymore. "

I went through a 7 weeks BMT and that's when I start to be paranoid. I became anti social, Everyday I come to camp, all I do is just sit at 1 corner and smoke and smoke and wait for 5.30pm to bookout. I will go to poly clinic to take MC and it's like almost every week. After some times the Doctor doesn't wants to give me MC anymore, Thats when I start to do stuff like trying to break my leg. I've done it and I don't have enough strength to break it. I posted on facebook and etc ....... that I will pay 500 bucks if someone help to break my leg. Lots of reply but none wanted to help me. I approached my friend and they didnt want to help too.

I know I'm useless and everyone said it's just 2 years just endure with it. No one understand me. I didnt mention that I was at first a Driver Trainne. It's until when I went for the driving course and it requires to stay in. I just can't stay in and that makes me even more worse till one of my friend that I went to driving course with drag me to see the MO. My friend who I know him for about 2 weeks told me that I must be suffering from depression.So I went in and I don't know what to tell the MO and ended just saying i'm stress and I got refer to the SAF MMI. And that's how I got OOC.

I was scare to tell psychiatrist what I wanted to say. I don't trust them instead I just told them I'm stress and my family issue. The psychiatrist told me I was suffering from depression and got down PES to C9 L9. They gave me Lexapro and a kind of sleeping pill to eat. I don't know whether should I trust them? Should I tell them everything? My psychiatrist seems to be very scary person or I'm just paranoid?

It's around 4 - 5 months ago, I would go back home and starting screaming and throwing things. If someone is at home I would go down to the nearby park and start screaming. It's until when my gf and I started to quarrel and I heard someone telling me that I must cut her. I couldn't control myself that I kick her in the stomach and she vomit a small pool of blood. My Mom and Sis saw it and they stopped me.

I always felt sucidal until last month I heard that someone tells me that it's stupid. Now I don't know why I always feel or wants someone to die with me. This 2 months I got into fight outside for 2 times. I don't like the way they look at me. They must be up to something. I got warded for 2 days because I said I wanted to kill someone.

I'm tired, I will stop here.

Can I have some comments what should I do? And The psychiatrist always ask me what can they help me. I really don't know whether should I told them all this? I have so much to say but I can't say it out and I guess they can't help me.

TS's note : I have wanted to advise him, but don't know how to. sianz...


Options good point.

The more we learn about stress, the more we understand how great a role it plays in a wide range of diseases and conditions. Not surprisingly, this is especially true of psychiatric problems such as psychosis, affective illness (a category that includes manic-depression and major depression)(1)(2)(3)(4) and alcoholism.(5)(6)

Stress seems to be particularly harmful for those suffering from the psychiatric disorder schizophrenia. For a patient with schizophrenia, the death of a parent or other loved one, a change in therapist, moving from one apartment to another; these events can trigger acute anxiety, depression and psychotic episodes, which may lead to hospitalization. Even seemingly mildly stressful events such as a job interview or a date can have a devastating effect.

For a patient with schizophrenia, the death of a parent or other loved one, a change in therapist, moving from one apartment to another; these events can trigger acute anxiety, depression and psychotic episodes.

This increased susceptibility to stress fits the current thinking that schizophrenia is fundamentally related to a combination of difficulty in filtering out what is happening in the outside world and misattribution of internal thoughts and feelings, along with an inability or lessened ability to interpret social cues, all of which make it difficult for individuals with schizophrenia to cope. This is backed up by research showing that patients with schizophrenia are more affected by stress physically as well as emotionally; for instance they show different changes in heart rate under stress and a greater overall risk of cardiovascular disease.(7)

http://www.thedoctorwillseeyounow.com/content/stress/art1957.html