FT who never serve NS complain we dislike them

Food court encounter leaves bitter taste in mouth

Letter from Jia Yangyang

09:10 PM Apr 15, 2010



I AM writing in as a junior college student, but also as a foreigner who has meaningfully spent his life in Singapore for more than three years, and as a young adult who is ready to enter society and take on corresponding social responsibilities.

What happened to my friends and I could indeed be deemed a small incident but it nevertheless it got me thinking.

On the evening of April 12, I has having dinner with some friends at Bishan Junction 8 food court in Bishan.

A mother and her young daughter sat across from me and put their bulky belongings on the empty seat next to them. My friend politely asked the mother if the latter could remove her belongings so that she (my friend) could sit across from me. The mother refused to do so outright. My friend went to find another seat.

The mother, however, went on to tell her daughter that foreign students like us lack basic courtesy.

It appears that she thought my friends and I are Indonesian Chinese. She spoke loudly about how impolite we are and how we feel elitist.

What worries me is the way she "taught" her daughter. The mother held such a firm belief that foreign students are ungrateful, impolite, elitist and that they do not understand English that well. The young girl seemed to accept whatever her mother was saying - right in front of me.

Another friend of mine later came by and the mother refused the same request again. Again, she made similar comments.

My friends and I refrained from defending ourselves because that would have potentially led to a meaningless quarrel and damaged our school's image.

However, this does not mean we feel such behaviour on her part is acceptable. We soon finished dinner, and one of my friends broke into tears.

As a foreign student (on scholarship) in Singapore, I know that asking people to accept us naturally is very difficult.

I also believe that, with mutual trust, we can build friendship and understanding as most of us have done with our classmates, teachers, guardians and the countless number of people who have offered care and help.

I sincerely hope that what we encountered is an isolated case, otherwise the efforts of so many people can easily go to waste.

Unity and tolerance are what made Singapore a great country and I would like to contribute to it with all I have.

I am an ordinary student and there is nothing elitist about me at all.

The mother had, just by looking at our uniforms, talked about our arrogance and lack of etiquette as if she knew us personally.

What I think is essential in building strong bonds among the people in Singapore is social awareness.

Adults, especially parents, should be mature and free from prejudice. What they should pass on to their children are responsibility, tolerance and, above all, a caring heart.

The writer is a student at Raffles Institution - Boardin